the window...

Windows are a strange thing, a clear divider which people use to hide behind. To observe the goings on in the world while feeling like they cannot be seen. I have stood at this particular window many times over the last two years. Silently observing the changes. The changes in the colours of the trees surrounding the river. The lights in the city fading in and out as the clock continues to turn, like some unknowing tide. I have watched people enter this building with fear things are not going the way they had planned. The feeling that they are not in control of their lives and that some unknown force has already decided their fate. Those people hoping beyond hope that one of the souls in this building  with a collection of metal and rubber tubes around their neck, a symbol of hope, of fear, of a future, of an end. The hope that this person is a titan with the ability to take on this unknown force and control fate, to change what is happen and to provide them with a happy ending, to allow for a new beginning. Sitting at this window you can see many hundred buildings; there are houses and homes, churches spires and universities, hospitals and museums. Those buildings are not alive, they are but bricks and mortar. Yet they all have stories; and they are willing to tell you if you will listen. They have character and quirks unique to themselves, lovingly crafted and given to them by those who built them for others to enjoy. There is a life cycle connection for these buildings, each so very different and yet so well connected. Strands of being and memories, or history and life. The people who live in these homes built by some distant family member who is now gone, who put their hearts into building a university so others could learn and have a better future. Their children who grew up and went to the university to make themselves better and are now working to save lives n the hospital, hoping that their patient will recover, go on, have long lives, children and happiness. The churches where those requiring the comfort and belief that someone is looking out for them can be seen from this window. The churches holding those who need faith, trusting that the prayers they make can be heard and answered.  The museum standing tall and proud, its colourful lights highlighting its beauty and its shadows hiding the cities secrets. This red brick monolithic structure a promise to the future that we will not forget in the future to remember the past, and is a standing reminder to those who love now that we do indeed live. So let us give something amazing to those in the future to remember us by...


It is only a window a simple pane of glass...and yet the picture of a city had many stories, those that are divulged through every medium, those that are hidden and covered over and those that simply drift away to never be told. I will stand at that window again with my hands on the windowsill looking out and wondering what secrets this glass shields me from...

the song...

I find it strange how a simple selection of words when set to a collection of notes can have the large impact that they do on someones life. There are songs that people subconciously hear and remember things that have been long forgotten. There are happy songs for good times when you see a friend you haven't seen in years. The ones that remind you of choreography created in the back of a bus on the way to cheer a high school basketball game which are enthusiastically repeated at the wedding reception of the first of you to get married. The ones that got you through the tough times when your heart was broken by that boy and you cried alone in your room wondering why you were not good enough. The ones that pointed out that you can do better and that you have to have the confidence in yourself that you were to good for him. And there are the songs that don't have set memories or places in your history but that for some reason cause you to be calm, confident and happy. The ones that when you don't want to talk to anyone make you listen to yourself... and sometimes its listening to yourself that is the best music of all.


"Save tonight fight the break of dawn, come tomorrow tomorrow we'll be gone" -eagle eye cherry

Live today for today and let tomorrow be another adventure to look forward too.

Today Put On A Ring..

I put a ring on today that I got 5 years ago....and all the good times have come rushing back and the bad. I has made me think how far we have all come, how much things have changed. Some of us are wives, some of us are mothers, some are both, we have grown and with that we have changed, We have done things that we said we would, we have done things that we thought we would never accomplish, we have made new friends, we have lost old ones and we shall never forget them, they shall always be remembered by us. We have seen how the small things in our lives can have just as drastic effects as the tremendously large ones. we have seen how something small to one person can have had the biggest impact for someone else...
I have stood proudly and watched friends commit themselves to another person for all eternity and admired them for having the courage to know what they want and the strength to admit it. I have seen how the death of a person that we know nothing about can affect the way a person feels and thinks, the relationships they form and how once again the small things in life have their improtance reinstaited as important.
I have kicked snow on a highway when my bus broke down on the way to london and been happy doing so because it made new memories and made me remember old ones. I have held the hand of a man I knew nothing about as he took his last breath on this earth because I believe that no one should die alone. I have heard the first cry of a child being born, I have heard the excited laugh of a transplant patient because she feels like she has to pee for the first time in 10 years. I have debated wether people should donate organs while they are alive because of the risk to themselves and decided that there are risks to everything in life even the little things and that sometimes if you have the ability to help someone else get to share them too even for a few years longer that is one of the greatest gifts that you can give someone.

So for this ring i am greatfull, It is not the most expensive thing that i own, it is not the shiniest, it is not the thing that i think about everyday, it is my high school graduation ring...it is a circle of memories i hope that i never forget...I Hope that there are more rings in my future and that with each of these comes a new set of memories...I hope that there are rings in your future too.